Updated the resume

Sent it in on a possible job lead. Still going to be in the same field, but I'm going into this with the plan that this will be my last job in computers. I’m not adverse to working with computers, but this constant schedule thing is getting me down. We’re being worked to the bone already, and we’re nowhere near the end of the product cycle.

I’ve done this before, and it’s not the end of the world – we’ve gone through some fairly “deathmarch” times before over here. It doesn’t bother me. What does is that it seems like we’re constantly impeded from doing our jobs, or we can’t figure out what are jobs are supposed to be. I can juggle a lot at once, but trying to figure out what I’m going to be juggling months down the road when management isn’t sure what I’m doing next week? We’re bogged down in senseless process. It’s not helpful process, either – it’s process that is created for one reason: so some ass can run around yelling “I created a process!” No. This is not a reason to create yet more irritating steps in an already convoluted scenario.

My husband came up with an absolutely insane plan to get me out of software, and it's so crazy, it just might work. It's going to take some work on my part, but it'll be doable, I think. I hope. It involves me doing some publishing on the side. I’m a little skeptical, but I’m willing to give it a try. If nothing else, it’ll give me an outlet while I’m still working in software and dreaming about getting out.

I don't regret my experience here at this job - it's been over 5.5 years of rollercoaster, and I've learned a lot about the industry, about computers, about software, programming, even about myself. If it hadn’t been for the benefits this job provided, I never would have gotten in shape, I never would have had the chances I did. I admit that the paycheck is nice, and I do know that right now, I need for it to stay that high. Long term, though, I’ve got to get my bills paid down.

It’s an amazing motivator for me. I ask myself, “Should we go out to eat for dinner?” I think about how much that costs, how much I’d save by going home and eating there, and even if I feel lousy, I can find the energy to cook. Getting the finances straight so I can consider other options is that important to me.

Spoke with another friend a few days ago about all of this; she’s actually someone who escaped this very same place I’m working in now, to take a lower paying job doing something that fit her much better. It helps me to remember that there’s life after the one I’m in. I’ve been in this job and at this company for so long that I don’t remember life without it. I’m terrified of life without it, yet at the same time, I’m more excited about life than I’ve been in a long time. There’s a thrill in leaving behind the security blanket, the tether, the training wheels, and just doing it. Best of all, I feel a lot better since I've made the decision that it's time to move on.

It’s snowing where I’m at, and I’m cringing at the thought of all the people out there on the roads. It’s late, and likely, quite frozen by now, and people west of the mountains in Washington state can't drive in this stuff to save their lives.